Mario punches Yoshi but this is no surprise… he’s evil!

super mario broth yoshi punch

It’s recently come to light that the original internal canon for Mario World is that when Mario thrust his arm forward whilst riding Yoshi (which in turn makes him eat things and spit them out), he wasn’t pointing at all… he was punching them in the head.

In an interview on Nintendo’s Japanese site (translated by Kotaku and covered by Eurogamer), veteran Nintendo developers Takashi Tezuka and Shigefumi Hino talked about the creation of Mario World and revealed some dark truths about gaming’s biggest mascot.

“Lots of people think that while Mario is pointing his finger foreward, he’s saying ‘Go,’ and Yoshi’s tongue comes out,” said Hino. “However, the set up that I drew was that when Mario punches Yoshi in the head, the character’s tongue shoots out in surprise.”

“What’s more,” Hino continued, “there’s an added ‘bop’ sound. However, it seemed like people would say ‘Poor Yoshi,’ so that’s why it became that Mario is saying ‘Go.’”

It doesn’t look like this was officially written down anywhere in the games, guides or manuals so to most, it probably won’t be considered canon. Especially so considering the idea changed after they saw player’s reactions but… BUT, here’s the thing. Mario is evil and this just fits right into that canon.

peach wedding dress
Pre-wedding anxiety

They tell us Bowser is evil and we just accept it. They try to give the impression that Wario and Waluigi are the bad versions of the Mario Bros. but really, Wario is just trying to get by in a world ruled by Mario whilst Waluigi is just looking for love. Let’s look at Mario.

He crushes creatures that don’t even have any hands who are just wandering around, minding their own business. He steps on turtles and flings them around by their shells. The bricks and blocks in Mario are Toads that have been transformed by black magic yet Mario happily runs around smashing them to pieces and hitting others to knock their insides out for either his own consumption or to add to his collection.

When it comes to methods of killing his enemies, Mario doesn’t just crush them under his feet or smash them to pieces. He burns them to death with fireballs, he slices them apart with shells, dumps Bowser in lava and in the years since he’s gone on to freeze them, batter them with hammers, kick them, get them eaten, send them off cliffs, obliterates them with the power of stars, skewers them with spikes and the list goes on.

Does this look like the face of a hero to you?

Have you noticed how many Boos there are in Mario games? It’s pretty clear how they get there and why they’re always going after Mario. They want revenge but they can’t look him in the eyes as even in death, they remain fearful. King Boo shows Bowser isn’t the first king Mario has gone after.

Peach is constantly around Bowser, staying safe in intimate fun rooms and these days, she openly stays in nice, expensive rooms. Look in Mario Maker for a more recent case, she’s inside a really well kept castle with no guards around or restraints in sight. She just has Bowser guarding the door every time to keep the plumber out and in a desperate attempt to keep the one he loves safe, he uses his army to guard his castle and slow. They all know Mario is going to get through eventually, slowing him down is their only option.

With all those magic mushrooms he’s taking, Peach likely isn’t thanking Mario or calling for help to save her from Bowser. These are just the things Mario wants to hear. She’s likely horrified when Bowser is sent into lava and at the start of games, she’s probably only shouting for help to be taken away when she finds out the bad plumber is near!

Utter Jealousy

Think about this too, the Toads are always nervious around Mario and always helpful, mostly in the way of providing information whilst also letting Mario stomp on them at will. Mario scares them into submission and he always gets his information, always. Sometimes he even takes their life savings in the form of coins and stars.

Have you noticed how Luigi is always nervous while Mario is full of confidence and an unsettling jolliness? Why do you think that is? These days Luigi also has the money and a Mansion so we know how Mario is affording his expensive cars, all those houses, those golf courses and why Luigi isn’t dead thus far. He’s still making money so the inheritance isn’t needed quite yet.

Peach is finally getting married to Bowser and Mario’s solution? He teams up with an evil ghost hat and they get to work possessing people and creatures everywhere, reading their thoughts and memories, making them do things they don’t want to, ruining their lives and likely even killing them.

Time to go mess people up! Wa-hoo!

This is the guy who once kidnapped Princess Peach and took her on Holiday to an island with a private jet being the only escape. Then when she’s rescued by her partner, he goes on a rampage with his new lethal water cannon, ending it all in a confrontation where he blasts into a family bath and not only invades their privacy, but ruins the moment and catapults Bowser and his son from the clouds into the ground below.

Keep in mind that Mario has already severely injured Bowser’s 7 previous children and by now, has likely killed them.Bowser just about managers to move on from this, has an eighth child and as soon as he takes him out on a nice family holiday, Mr. Evil Plumber Man, Mario comes along and tries to kill them.

It makes sense he’d enslave Yoshi everywhere and punch them to make them do things, only to send them off a cliff and jump off to get to a higher platform or save his own skin later on. In Mario World, he even takes them from birth and raises them to just accept this. They saved him as a baby and raised him and yet as an adult, he doesn’t think twice about enslaving, punching and murdering them.

Mario Killing Yoshi
He’s just killed one and is already going for an unborn Yoshi. No Remorse.

Mario does all of this and yet everyone thinks it’s Mickey Mouse who’s the real evil in this world. Nintendo have been pulling the cap over our eyes for decades, it’s time to see Mario for the monster he really is.

I haven’t updated in a while but if you enjoyed this, there will hopefully be a bit more where that came from every now and then. Since my last post, I’ve started work on a new site and if anything comes of it, here and my Twitter will be the first to know.


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